The Conundrum of Human Connection

I was in Florida, prepping for a big keynote.
Not just any keynote; one of those where you want to show up centered, grounded, and sharp.
So, I did something I implore everyone do. That is, give yourself permission to practice extreme self-care. So, I allowed myself to take a full-on personal day.

• Woke up early.
• Healthy omelette for breakfast and coffee.
• Hit the gym.
• Sweat out whatever stress was lingering.

Then made my way to the spa for a steam.

Just me, the heat, and silence.
That sacred nothingness of pure peace surrounding your that most people are allergic to.

Two guys were already in there, sitting across from each other.
Towels, bare feet, banter; nothing out of the ordinary.

Until I saw it.

One of them had brought his phone into the steam room.
Laid it right next to him like a rescue inhaler.

I didn’t say anything.
Didn’t raise an eyebrow.
Just watched.

A few minutes passed.
Steam built.
Silence hung.
Then came the sound I didn’t expect in a sanctuary like this:

“Damn it. My phone overheated again.”

I looked over.
Sure enough, the guy picks up the thing like it’s a wounded bird.
Holds it in his palm and says:

“That’s the second time today! The same thing happened this morning in the steam room.”

He wasn’t joking.
This was the second time today he cooked his phone.

Let that sink in.
He repeatedly brought his phone into a sauna and steam room, and was surprised it melted.

Now, I’m not judging the guy.
Okay, maybe a little.
But mostly, I’m fascinated.

We are so addicted to being connected that we’ll risk frying a $1,000 device just to stay plugged in, even when the whole point of being there is to unplug.

It’s not about the phone.
It’s about presence.

Silence.
It’s about the inability to sit still and to learn how.

The Keynote

I told this story in my keynote the next day.
I framed it light, funny, relatable:

“Imagine being so committed to checking your notifications, you steam your phone like broccoli. Twice.”

People laughed.
Because it’s absurd.
And also because they’ve done it.

Maybe not the steam room.
But the dinner table.
The vacation.
The kids’ recital.
The date.
The coaching conversation.
The moment they were supposed to be fully in but couldn’t disconnect to be fully out and focused on the gifts around you.

Phones on the table.
Mind in the inbox.
Heart somewhere else.

Disconnecting Is the Key to Connecting With Yourself and Others

We live in a time where attention is currency.
And most of us are flat broke.

We’re not present.
We’re preoccupied.

Always preparing for the next thing.
Responding to someone else’s urgency.
Missing the miracle of the moment we’re in.

Presence isn’t just a leadership tactic.
It’s not a mindfulness buzzword.
It’s the core ingredient of connection, creativity, happiness, and credibility.

I can teach you all the right coaching questions.
All the sales frameworks.
All the performance hacks.

But if you’re not here – fully – you’ve already lost.

People can feel when you’re with them.
And when you’re somewhere else.

Presence is the one thing you can’t fake.

The Steam Room Reminder

That moment in the spa wasn’t just comedy.
It was a wake-up call.

I thought about how many other places I’ve brought a metaphorical phone into.

How often I’ve shown up physically, but mentally been miles away.
How often I’ve burned out relationships, opportunities, or even my own peace.

Because I couldn’t power down. I couldn’t stop focusing on the results I need now.

What if you could…

• Unplug long enough to think clearly?
• Show up fully in the moments that matter most?
• Leave your phone outside… and actually feel inside your life again?

Presence is free but it is not a luxury. It’s a requirement. Without it, costs you everything you think matters.

• Your coaching
• Your time.
• Your communication.
• Your peace.
• Your relationships.
• Your credibility.
• Your performance.
• Your happiness.
• Your sales and revenue.

Being present asks you to give up the illusion of control.

To stop performing.
To stop planning.
To stop distracting.

And just be.

The End of the Phone Call

So yeah, the guy’s phone overheated.
But maybe it was trying to tell him something.

Next time you’re in a moment that matters.
Whether it’s with your team, your spouse, your kid, your breath.

Leave the phone outside.
Let your mind cool down.
And for the love of presence.

Don’t boil your iPhone.

Start with the steam room rule instead:

No phones. No distractions. Just be.