We all want to experience greater success in our lives. Yet, we also tend to avoid engaging in the activities that make us feel uncomfortable, even if we know they serve us best. Discover why embracing, rather than resisting this feeling of discomfort is the key to accelerating personal growth and breakthrough results.
Enhanced Video Transcript
We are all creatures of habit. We like to do things that produce a degree of certainty in the results, even when those activities may not serve us best. At the same time, we want better results, but resist anything new so we recoil back into what is safe and comfortable. The paradox is, change is the only constant.
To grow and evolve, we must change and stretch beyond our comfort zone. Consider this; if you are comfortable with the activities you engage in, then you’re simply doing what you’ve already been doing, which will produce the same results as before. Now, this may not be such a bad thing if you’re happy with the results that you’re currently experiencing. Keep in mind, this mindset is also the breeding ground for mediocrity.
However, if you’re willing to do the things that make you uncomfortable, a new activity, strategy, or developing a new skill or way of thinking, then you will create new and better results.
The lesson? If it’s uncomfortable, it’s probably the right thing to do and the quickest path to greater success. So, get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
You may be familiar with the definition of insanity. “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Let me introduce you to my definition of futility. That is, knowing the definition of insanity and still not doing anything about it.
Identify the best practices in your role, both at home and at work. Then, to accelerate your success, embrace the discomfort you may experience when trying something different that will create new and better opportunities for you.
Ah! That wonderful world of electric lighting, heater thermostats and umbrellas … the danger Keith Rosen alludes to here is of habits. And yes, breaking them is both uncomfortable – more to the point at the time it feels self-defeating too!
Yet carried through with determination it can lead to failure … and failure again. Proof that comfort is the way to go … yet the next thing you do is the one that makes it all go “click” and you’ve done it. You enter a different world – yet it looks the same as it ever did.
There’s an interesting paradigm around habits. That is; many people focus on the habit they want to break, no longer engage in or stop doing. Or, they focus that which they no longer want present in their lives or the characteristic about themselves which they don’t want to exemplify or possess anymore. For example:
* I must lose weight.
* I’ve got to stop being so confrontational and judgmental when it comes to my spouse and children.
* I have to stop being a doormat and pushover at work every time someone asks me to do their job for them.
* I have to quit being so shy at a networking function and stop thinking that people won’t want to speak with me.
* I can’t be so intimidated and fearful when I go to my boss and ask for a raise.
* I need to stop being so indecisive with my team when I have to make a tough business decision.
* I’ve got to stop cutting people off during a conversation when I disagree with them or to just to get my point across.
and so on…
The problem is, these statements focus on what will no longer be present or what will be missing. And if you’re focused on what would be missing, you’re not focusing on that which you want present or who it is you want to be or become! Said another way, instead of focusing on what you want to stop doing, focus on what it is you want to start doing or who it is you want to be. Here are the same statements above re-written to focus on starting a new habit or adopting a positive belief rather than stopping an old habit or trying to avoid a self-defeating belief or attitude.
* I want to be healthy and fit. I will engage in the activities and eat the proper foods that will create a healthy lifestyle for me each day.
* I will start being more accepting, understanding, caring and supportive of my family.
* I will set stronger boundaries at work around the behavior that I will no longer tolerate from others that will protect me and my time. I will be clear around how I expect to be treated.
* I will be more open, social and engaging when I go to a networking function and be mindful that most of the people there will want to talk with me.
* I will be confident when I go to my boss and ask for a raise and ensure I have a compelling case and the evidence to support my request.
* I will take a strong, direct and unconditionally supportive stand for what I know is best and right for my team and trust my values, best judgement and experience when an important decision needs to be made.
* I will give each person the respect, time and space they need to share their thoughts and feelings whether I agree with them or not. I will seek to understand the other person’s point of view and know that if I do so, the law of reciprocity will apply. That is, if I respect them, they, in turn will respect me and my opinion and give me the time to share my thoughts.
Notice where the focus of this send list of statements are. First, they are self-empowering. Second, they focus on what it is you want in your life rather than what it is you don’t or what you want to avoid. While fear is often a powerful motivator, it also comes at a great cost to our hearts, mind and spirit.
Focusing on the pleasure or what you do want provides the focus and the path to get you were you want to be, rather than the very thing you are running from and trying to avoid. After all, if you know what you don’t want, but don’t know what you do want, then how will you know when you get or achieve that which matters most to you?
Keith – I am trying a new approach right now. To overcome these feelings of being uncomfortable, I ask myself – “wouldn’t it be crazy if…” Then I do it.
I love that, Ian! The question we would ask ourselves, “Wouldn’t it be crazy if….” or “What would be possible for me if…..” challenge all self-imposed doubts, limiting beliefs and what anyone would think is “realistic and attainable.” Now, we’re talking about shattering the ceiling of our perceived potential and what we think is possible to create an entirely new opportunity for ourselves. Now, we can create the space to re-write our story or what we believe is true but isn’t. After all, as human beings, we love to justify our behavior and as such, fall in love with the stories we tell ourselves and what we think is true.
Said another way, when it comes to trying new things; a new way of thinking, activity or behavior, another great question to ask ourselves is, “If I do try this, what’s the absolute worst think that could happen?” When we ask ourselves both of these questions, we shatter the shackles of fear that hold us back and keep us prisoner which then opens us up to the realm unlimited possibilities which can lead to achieving things that we never thought possible. Only then can we authentically to tap into and truly live our fullest potential. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the word of encouragement keith. I am trying a new area of sales; inside / telephone sales and I feel like a toddler. It is awkward and uncomfortable right now.
My absolute pleasure Suz! I appreciate your transparency and please know that you’re not alone. Embracing this feeling of discomfort is critical and will help you recognize the areas you need to work on and the skills to develop. I hope your manager/company is providing you with the coaching and training you need to develop best practices, your message and your approach in order to achieve success. You may also find these articles below extremely helpful, especially being new to inside sales. They’ll provide you with a solid foundation to build from, and most important; the right mindset needed to become a sales champion.
Here’s one article which focuses on the inner game of selling and how to overcome any call reluctance; permanently.
https://keithrosen.com/2008/09/hate-to-cold-call-overcome-cold-calling-reluctance-permanently/
This second article is being clear about the initial goal of a cold call or your first conversation with a prospect.
http://profitbuilders.com/articles/prospecting/the-goal-of-prospecting-is.php
Here’s a third article about leveraging fear to be your ally. https://keithrosen.com/2013/04/become-fearless-today/
And finally, here’s a fourth article that builds upon the last article around becoming fearless; providing you with a step by step approach to overcome any reluctance or fear so that you can become unstoppable! https://keithrosen.com/2013/11/9-steps-to-kicking-fear-in-the-teeth-making-it-your-ally/
I hope this supports you and your efforts! Wishing you extreme success!