Here’s what you can say to your boss in order to foster an open dialogue that would create the possibility of reinventing your relationship, as well as establishing clear expectations around how you like to be managed.

(Here you can find the first four articles in the Coach Up Series: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4)

When reading through these templates, feel free to modify them so that the dialogue fits best for you and your style of communicating, without changing the core intention and focus of the message.

Notice in each one of these, while you are positioning the conversation and your agenda in a collaborative way, you are also creating the opportunity to hold up the mirror so that your boss can recognize certain areas they can improve upon and come to that realization on their own, without running the risk of making them wrong, telling them what they’re not doing or not doing well or putting them on the defensive. By doing so, you are, in fact, honoring one of the core principles of coaching.

Establishing How You Like To Be Managed and Motivated

If you find that your manager isn’t providing you with the support or acknowledgment you need to fuel your momentum and keep you producing, here is an example of an approach you can take to position a conversation that would enable you to inform your boss how you like to be managed and motivated.

“Throughout my career, I’ve noticed certain things that some of my prior managers have done, including some of the things that you do, which have had a positive and measurable impact on my performance, my attitude and the quality of work I produce. Since we both have a vested interest in my success here, and since each person you manage is motivated by something slightly different, I thought it would be beneficial to share with you what I’ve seen you do that has really motivated me to perform at my best.

The fact is, I really appreciate when you do these things and thought this was a way to first, thank you and second, to let you know that it’s really working for me. I know how busy you are and that you have so many things coming at you. And I know that a lot of the time, you’re hearing about the problems and what’s not working rather than hearing some acknowledgment of what is working.

Since I do value your opinion and support, I thought that by sharing this with you and putting this in front of your line of vision, it will reinforce what you may already know that’s working and save you some time down the road by helping me avoid some pitfalls I may encounter while keeping me at the top of my game. Would you be open to me sharing this with you now?”

Photo Credit: Victor1558