There are things we want for ourselves and things we want for others. Learn how a single statement can powerfully empower others in a wide variety of situations.
Now, I know what you may be thinking. “That sounds weird.”That’s a little too fluffy for me.” Here’s a great coaching moment.
First, have you tried using it before? If not, then how do you know how people are going to respond? This sounds like an assumption to me, along with a special blend of coaching in your own image.
Those managers and salespeople who are not fans of this phrase react with, “Well, that wouldn’t work on me.” Said a different way. “I’m coaching and managing in my own image.”
The result? As a leader, you’re building robots and “Mini-me’s” rather than tapping into the individuality of each person on your team.
Of course using a new phrase or technique to engage differently with people can feel or sound strange. It’s new. Just like learning a new language or playing a sport, coaching is also a learned skill as well as a language that, when delivered correctly and authentically, boosts the impact of your communication.
Once you start using the ‘wanting for’ statement more consistently in your communication, you will notice how much more open people will be to hearing and digesting your message, especially the ones they may have a natural inclination to resist. They are the perfect precursor to softening a difficult message by first opening up the person’s listening; which starts with the authentic commitment you have to supporting them by articulating specifically what it is you want most for them. ‘Wanting for’ statements are a powerful tool to reinforce the stand you have chosen to take for your salespeople, while doing so in a quick and efficient way and simultaneously challenging them to bring out their best, as well as yours.
5 Sample ‘Wanting For’ Statements
1. You need to deliver a strong message to an underperforming salesperson about their need for a turnaround. “Kelly, what I want for you is to be able to turn your performance around to where it used to be so that you can start enjoying your job the same way you did when you first started here, along with the financial rewards that follow.”
2. You need to prepare someone or your entire sales team for some imminent changes; whether they are changes in your sales procedures, product or service, HR or administrative. “What I want for each person on my sales team is to be able to walk into the office each day feeling confident they have all the tools and resources needed to reach your goals here, both personally and professionally. And sometimes, ensuring these resources are readily available for you requires making some changes in our approach and how we do things.”
3. You want to reinforce your stand and commitment to the success of each person on your sales team. “At this point, we have all been working together for some time now. And I truly hope that each of you are fully aware of my commitment to your continued success here. What I want for all of you is to be able to come to work feeling fulfilled in your career, motivated by the value you deliver to your customers and supported by your management team. That’s why I wanted to take a few minutes going around the room to identify some other areas we can improve upon, things we can be doing better, or what I can be doing for you which would further support this ultimate objective.”
4. You want to provide some well needed motivation by acknowledging and reigniting the personal power someone may have forgotten they have. “Nicole, I know you’ve been in sales for a while now. And I know this isn’t the first time you’ve felt a bit deflated when you saw your month end numbers, especially with your work ethic and all of the effort you’ve put forth. And sometimes with all of the things we have control over, there still exists those other market conditions which we can’t control. That’s why what I continually want for you is to be able to manage and honor the process you’ve put in place, which has always been proven to work well for you, but do so without the additional stress and pressure you seem to be piling on yourself lately. In other words, it looks like there’s an opportunity for you to shift back to being more process driven without pushing so hard for the result which, as you’ve seen, will come naturally by honoring your process.”
5. You would like to open up the possibility to have a conversation about coaching someone around an area they have been struggling with. “This may come as a friendly reminder to you but felt it important enough to mention. Due to the type of product we sell and the market we go after, you’re going to find that it may take a little longer for prospects to open up to you and want to foster a relationship, especially when these prospects have been working with the same vender for as long as they have been. What I want for you is to feel confident that you have the artillery and the resources you need the next time you are confronted with a hostile prospect, so that you can turn around a potentially explosive situation into a new selling opportunity; similar to the situation you found yourself in last week.”
Photo Credit: Jay Hilgert (Background)