What exactly would it sound like when coaching up around the situations you find yourself in where you recognize an opportunity to coach up? Learn to set proper expectations when crafting your message.

(Here you can find the first three articles in the Coach Up Series: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3)

In the next three posts, I’ve provided several examples of what you can say to your boss in order to foster an open dialogue that would create the possibility of reinventing your relationship with your boss, as well as establishing clear expectations and boundaries around your coaching and how you like to be managed.

When reading through the examples I provide over the next three posts, feel free to modify these templates so that the dialogue fits best for you and your style of communicating, without changing the core intention and focus of the message.

Notice in each one of the examples that follow, while you’re positioning the conversation and your agenda in a collaborative way, you are also creating the opportunity to hold up the mirror so that your boss can recognize certain areas they can improve upon and come to that realization on their own, without running the risk of making them wrong, telling them what they’re not doing or not doing well or putting them on the defensive. By doing so, you are, in fact, honoring one of the core principles of coaching.

Establishing The Expectations of Coaching

When looking to set the expectations around coaching, here is an example of coaching up that has proven to work for many people in similar situations, including the one described by the manager I referenced earlier in this series.

“(Boss), I really value your opinion and support and not only appreciate your willingness to coach me but I am genuinely excited about the possibility. In order for both of us to experience worthwhile results around this coaching, it’s important that I have a better understanding of your definition of coaching and your coaching approach so that I can make sure I’m leveraging every coaching opportunity I have with you. That said, would you be open to discussing and establishing the parameters around our coaching to ensure that we’re both clear about what we can expect from each other?”

Photo Credit: sleepyneko